we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
