I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
