hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
