Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
