i just google imaged poop.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
