Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
