just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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