U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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