im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
