i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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