He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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