There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
