Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
