i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Randomize
