If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
