What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
