I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
