some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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