dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
