a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
