can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
