The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Life is so much better after having sex.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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