its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
