Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
