drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
