they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
