He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
