Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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