I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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