you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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