I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
