nut hugger
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
