I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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