redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
