Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
