my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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