They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
