so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
