dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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