Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
