Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
