Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
