can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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