I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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