apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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