Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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