he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
