i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
