did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
