I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think my moral compass just broke
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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