I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
